there is this tension of being so upset that in God’s sovereignty that He has allowed such a traumatic tragedy into my life and my family’s lives, and yet knowing that there is no where else to run that brings peace and contentment and hope, true hope beyond the grave, beyond the pain.
“my soul weeps because of grief; strengthen me according to Your Word.” – Psalm 119:28 has become my life right now. there really seems to be nothing else that helps. there’s no other thing that gets me through the day. there is nothing else to rely on to help me get out of bed in the morning. it hurts beyond belief.
the harshness of knowing that God is sovereign in all He does, and yet the sweetness of knowing He is right here in the middle of it with me. the cruelty of Him allowing such a horrifically bitter cup, and yet the desperation for His mercy and grace to endure it.
the only thing we can fall back on is who He is. what He has done for us. we only find that in His Word. one thing I have done (and should do more of), is read through a book of the Bible and write out His attributes, His actions, and His promises. listen to this song at the end here too.